I haven’t blogged in a week. I’m in a finger pointing kind of mood so I want to blame something or someone or everything and everyone for this blogging drought. So, let’s get going, shall we?
I would like to start by blaming my job. I’ve been spending my days interviewing people who are stealing money from vulnerable people. I ask them questions and they either a)lie or b)make an excuse for the thousands of dollars they have taken. I then a)confront them and tell them that they are lying or b) laugh because they are really bad liars or c)both of the above. Also, should I ever investigate any of you for financial exploitation, don’t tell me that you are stealing for the Lord and don’t quote the Bible during our interview. I may look like a godless lesbian but I have actually read the bible. In fact, aren’t there some commandments you ought to be thinking about? Something about stealing and, oh, honoring your parents?
I’d also like to blame the Gap. Yes, the Gap. You see, I went to buy Luisa some t-shirts for the trip and I found this really cute brown, short-sleeve shirt that I would have loved to have for work. One problem, a pocket with a white button on each boob. I don’t think I am the only woman who has breasts. There is no way a woman could walk around in that shirt without at least 9 people thinking, “Damn, her nipples are pale!” They might as well have embroidered arrows on the front of the shirt and some beautiful script that says, “Check these out!” Some advide to the women’s clothing designers…ditch the pockets. Some of us don’t want to accentuate our breasts.
I’ve also had some pen issues. I had this specific pen that I really liked to write with…a fine point Pilot retractable ballpoint pen, if you must know. Well, I’ve had this pen for awhile and it is running dry. They no longer seem to make the exact same pen and I can’t get replacement ink. So, I need new pens but I can’t use the County issued pens: medium point Bic pens with lids. For me, writing with a medium point pen is like trying to endorse a check with a giant charcoal briquette. As for the lids, well, nothing good ever comes of pen lids. People either chew on them, lose them or end up with nothing butlids. I have tried just about every fine point retractable pen out there. I’m old school though…I like regular old ink. I am not interested in this “gel ink” business the younguns are using today. As you can see, this issue has weighed heavily on me this week and the quest for a good pen has been time consuming.
Lastly, I’d like to blame the weather. I know that I spent all winter complaining about the cold and the snow but now it is summer and I want to complain about the heat and humidity. That’s what we do here in Minnesota. We talk about the weather…a lot. When it is hot, I don’t feel like sitting on a chair typing away on my laptop. No, I feel like sitting on the patio with a cold drink…perhaps a drink with lime…maybe a little tonic…and, oh what the heck, a dash of gin.
So, I guess the long and the short of it is that I haven’t blogged because I am hot and bothered. I will be back next week, though, with a Pride recap and an update on our trip preparations.
Have a great weekend and Happy Pride!
